002: The Move

Moving to a new country is no easy feat. Most days, I feel like a flower being repotted into new soil. I'm still me, but the environment around me has changed...allowing me opportunities to possibilities to thrive.

As I sat in a cafe in Downtown Vancouver, the summer heat brought warmth to my soul. Seeing the mountain ranges as I flew into Vancouver, I sat in awe of how such an incredible place exists. Sea meets mountains meets city skyscrapers...a mix of all my favourite things. This city has been nothing short of kind, welcoming and humble. There's a sense of peacefulness when I wander through the streets, contrasted to the hustle and bustle of what I had back home in Sydney. Small town feels with big city looks. I feel at ease.

Yet, I did not always feel this way. Leading up to my departure at the end of July, there was a vast array of emotions that I experienced. Being a reflective person, I would jot down my thoughts to better express what I was feeling. With my of my research in contemplative inquiry, much of what I read and engage is steeped in self-reflexivity, offering clearer insights into personal experiences. Following suit, here are some of my reflections from the past few months from my move to Canada.

June 27, 2023

It’s taken me a while to acknowledge that a big shift is coming, the yearn for change is real. Everyone asks me if I’m excited, as if that’s the only acceptable way to feel. I’ve felt many emotions, each one as just as valid and important for understanding myself. If I wasn’t ready for this, life wouldn’t have given me the opportunity. I’m deeply grateful to have discovered something that profoundly connects me to my inner self and that I get to pursue it everyday for the next half a decade. Every day is a new chance to be present, flourish in exciting ways and enjoy what the universe has planned for me.

July 31, 2023

It hasn’t really hit me that I’m moving my whole life over to Canada. Mostly just been feeling numb in the past few days, only noticing the present moments around me, moving with gentleness.

When I bring things into focus, I become acutely grateful for all the Sydney has afforded me. The hardships, successes and lessons that this part of the world has brought me through, shaping me into who I am. It has connected me with some of what I believe, are the most loving and kind spirits.

But the universe has its way of showing you what it has planned for you. So here’s to continually shifting and evolving towards compassion, peace and wisdom, both in myself and others.

August 8, 2023

I am unfolding, undoing and unlearning, then rebuilding, realigning and responding to new ideas. Be gentle with yourself, the journey is a long one. Read your body and what it needs to move freely in the world. Be aware of the little things in the everyday and move forward with an open, mind and spirit.

September 14, 2023

Being in nature helps me understand that I really only occupy a really small part of the universe. However, I am also aware that my actions matter to others and to myself. I am in a place of commune where we can bring together the journeys and hearts of kindred spirits.

September 28, 2023

Happiness is there, at every moment. We must learn to let go of our tensions, worries and anxieties so that we are able to see things for what they truly are. My body feels light, lighter than what it has in a long time. I continue being whole and empty, all at once.

Life cannot be experienced linearly, nor can it be compared directly to others. These reflections remind me that every day unfolds differently. I never thought I would be embarking on the route of a PhD, given the lack of enthusiasm I had for learning in my early years. Experiencing a different way of teaching and learning here in my program has been something that wraps my soul with love and compassion, allowing me to see the world with a kinder heart...more on that another time. For now, I'll be continuing to pay attention to my mind/body/spirit as interconnected facets of my being. □

If you would like to show your support, feel free to buy me a coffee! ☕